Death

There's a great post over at Lilly's Pad entitled "The Mystery of Death..." Check it out - it is a thoughtful look at a situation we've all been in or will be in as we minister to others. Lilly writes in a straight-forward manner that is simple, yet profound at the same time. I always appreciate reading her thoughts on difficult subjects.

The Teen Whisperer

I started a new book today, The Teen Whisperer: How to Break Through the Silence and Secrecy of Teenage Life, by Mike Linderman with Gary Brozek. Mike Linderman is a licensed counselor who has worked with teens for more than ten years. He's been married for twenty years and is the proud father of three healthy teens. He lives in Trout Creek, Montana. The book looks like it will be pretty good. I'm thinking this will be a good resource for youth pastors and for parents. I'll post a review when I'm finished with the book. For now, here's the publisher's description of the book:

Mike Linderman is a star in the making. He wrestles cattle at the crack of dawn, then spends his days working with the country's most troubled teens before coming home at night to three healthy teens of his own. Where so many other therapists can only offer futile advice to struggling parents, Linderman has mastered a blend of downhome honesty and military–like discipline––not to mention a layer of trust and love very rarely found in the therapist's office. Most of the teens Linderman treats are angry, abused, violent, and dangerous–they are children without hope.

Yet despite their difficult pasts, Linderman has achieved an extraordinary success rate with these teens, helping them turn their lives around and earning him the nickname "the Teen Whisperer." The son of a poor ranching family, Linderman learned at an early age the values of honesty, tough love, and hard work. Miraculously, it is those three values that have transformed the hardened clients at his school into loving, rational, productive teens.

Finally, Linderman shares these and other secrets with parents everywhere as he explains his methods for turning around America's toughest teens. Centering on the Five Primary Needs of Teens (Survival, Fun, Freedom, Power, and Belonging), his approach demonstrates the importance each of these concepts plays in teen's family life and the negative impact that occurs when a family is incapable of fulfilling these Needs. Here he provides concrete steps that parents can take to reconnect with their teens as they work together to create a stronger relationship and kids learn to:
* Trust themselves and others
* Process emotion and pain in healthy ways
* Understand and appreciate boundaries
* Gain joy and pride in real work
* Live a life of love, respect and gratitude

Interacting with teens on their terms and in their language, Linderman allows parents to see that in order to help kids you must meet them at their level and treat them as peers not subordinates. With powerful and effective words, he calls on readers to understand that our teenagers deserve our love––not our fear––and ultimately it is this unique and straightforward perspective that sets him apart. It is this methodology, grounded in honesty and integrity, that has led to his unparalleled success record with some our country's most difficult youths. This is the story of that success and how parents can use the lessons he's learned to heal the troubled hearts of their own families.

Soccer Rant

I read an article in the Sports section of The Washington Post this morning about the U.S. women's national soccer team. The article was about Coach Greg Ryan making a change of goalie on the eve of their World Cup semifinal match with Brazil. Talk about foreshadowing! I thought that making a switch wasn't a good idea as the author of the article, Steven Goff, hinted. On my way to the office, I heard the score was 2-0 Brazil. By the time I got to the office it was 3-0. And the final ended up being 4-0. Turns out changing keepers might not have been the best idea. On the way home this afternoon I heard an interview with Hope Solo, the goalie who was benched. She called out the coach for making the change!

Here's a snippet: "It was the wrong decision, and I think anybody that knows anything about the game knows that. There's no doubt in my mind I would have made those saves. . . . You have to live in the present. And you can't live by big names. You can't live in the past." Good for her!

Now, before the comments roll in about a blog post on women's soccer, know this:

1) I consider soccer not only a sport, but a good one.

2) I have three daughters who may one day play soccer.

3) I know probably not many people are blogging about this, much less men blogging about it, and I don't care.

RANT ALERT!

It irks me when people make stupid decisions and replacing a successful goalie (whose previous three matches were shutouts) on the eve of the most important match since the 2004 Olympics qualifies in my book as stupid.

On a positive note, D.C. United won last night!

Catching Up

Today, my oldest daughter, Annie, said she didn't want to go to school. She said this as we were walking to school. We never broke stride and after hugging and kissing me at the school entrance, she went inside and walked to her classroom. Whatever made her not want to go to school must not have been too bad. When I picked her up today, she said she had a good day. When I asked her if she was glad she went to school she said yes. When I asked her why she didn't want to go this morning she said she just didn't. Isn't that the way we are sometimes with the things in our lives?

Annie is in Kindergarten. She started school on July 30 - her school is on an alternative schedule. She loves school! In fact, today was the first time she ever mentioned not wanting to go to school. Annie being in Kindergarten is a monumental life passage. I have the privilege and joy of being able to walk her to school every morning. Along the way, we talk, usually about what she might do that day or about big things coming up. We always say a prayer on our way to school. It's tough as a parent to watch your kids grow up. Moments like these are exciting and sad! The excitement comes from the possibilities of the future for Annie. The sadness comes from the realization that Annie is no longer spending her days at home learning from Mommy. Kids grow up so fast!

Randa and Annie at the special lunch we had together before Annie started school.

Annie ready to leave the house for the first day of school!

Annie sitting at her table on the first day of Kindergarten!

Random Stuff

There was an interesting article on the front page of today's Washington Post about worship and technology. Seems like people are more concerned with the method rather than the act of worship.

Yesterday's USA Today had an interesting opinion piece about God and the role of women. Reminds me why I'm not Southern Baptist anymore.

The warm weather we've been having lately reminds me of something that can only be described as coming from God - the Frosty! I enjoyed one this afternoon and it was heavenly!

Remedy is here and it is truly amazing! DCB continues to produce wonderful worship music. Read Marko's review here - his is better than anything I could do.

My sister-in-law Erin celebrated her 30th birthday today! Happy Birthday! Erin is married to a great guy named Jeremy and together they are the parents of four wonderful kids. You can check out her thoughts on motherhood here.

Fall Means Blogging!

After taking most of the summer off from blogging, I've decided to start back up on this, the first full day of fall! A lot has happened over the last several months, so I think there will be many posts forthcoming! Let's start with this past weekend.

Friday through Sunday was my fourth Summit Lake Senior High Retreat. This is the second year I have been involved in leading the retreat as the "Retreat Director." In reality, I work with a great team of fellow youth pastors from the NorthStar Church Network to help make the retreat happen. My main contribution has been to be the administrative leader. I don't mind it, but I am looking forward to having someone else either take the mantle or at least be co-director.

I felt this year's retreat was our best one yet. The speaker, Chris Folmsbee, was great and together with Harp 46 and Communidad Hispana de Columbia, made up the best worship leadership I think we've had at my four years of Summit Lake. The words honest, open, authentic, heartfelt, and genuine come to mind when describing our leadership. They pointed us to God! They challenged us! They encouraged us! Chris left immediately after our last worship celebration so that he could try to get an earlier flight back home to be with his family. That's the kind of speaker I want teaching my students. My good friend Josh and I (along with Andy and Katie) helped put together some worship stations that made the worship times even more special. Thanks Josh! You can read more about Summit Lake at Chris' blog and Josh's blog.

Josh with Chris at Summit Lake.

Me with Chris. Unfortunately for Chris, his Bears lost to my Cowboys!

The best part of the weekend for me was having my family present. This was the first youth trip that we have attended as a family. My wife is awesome! She did so much with the kids by herself because of my leadership responsibilities at the retreat. The times we were together made the weekend special for me. Being able to see Randa and the girls each day was awesome. Eating meals together, going on paddle boat rides, playing on the playground, and worshipping together was an experience that I will never forget.

Westwood Baptist at Summit Lake!

Candy Land

Being a Youth Pastor is awesome! This is what we found in our front yard this morning - anyone up for a game of Candy Land?

SPURS - 2007 NBA Champions!

Spurs Hoist Larry O'Brien Trophy



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GO SPURS GO!

The Spurs sure have created a frenzy in the sports universe during their series with the Phoenix Suns. Several things have been said about the Spurs that simply boggle the mind. First, the idea that the Spurs are "dirty" is just ludicrous. The Spurs simply play fundamental basketball - not flashy basketball (i.e. lots of offense and no defense). They play good, hard, aggressive defense. Bruce Bowen plays aggressive man defense and offensive "stars" don't like that. The idea that Bowen would deliberately knee Steve Nash in the groin out in the open outside the three-point line is just crazy. Ironically, Nash got hurt because he was playing aggressive defense at the time. Robert Horry's foul at the end of game four was a hard foul, but he clearly was not trying to hurt Nash. If he had been, Nash wouldn't be playing in this series any longer. Nash (and Raja Bell for that matter) is as good a "flopper" as people claim Manu Ginobili is. The idea that Horry, a "scrub", went after Nash to try to provoke the Suns' stars into getting suspended is also crazy. Last I checked, Horry had six championship rings and Nash, Amare Stoudemire, and Boris Diaw had zero between the three of them. Horry is the Spurs' most important bench player after Ginobili, much like Diaw is after Leandro Barbosa. The Spurs missed Horry in game five and will miss him in game six - make no mistake about that. All the literal blood drawn in this series has been drawn by the Suns - Nash's head-butting of Tony Parker and Shawn Marion raking Ginobili's eye. Yes, the Spurs are dirty!

Second, the idea that the NBA is trying to rig things in favor of the Spurs is just plain stupid. The Spurs are a great basketball team and organization, but they are boring for television. They don't draw ratings. If the NBA wanted one of these teams to advance to the finals, it would be Phoenix. The Suns just aren't ready yet. They may have better athletes, but the Spurs have the better team. It's a shame that the respect for each other these teams started the series with has disappeared. The fault there lies with Stoudemire opening his mouth and calling the Spurs dirty and then the media for jumping on that band wagon. If Stoudemire had kept his mouth shut, who knows how the rest of the series would have played out.

Finally, in the midst of all the controversy, the one thing Spurs fans and Suns fans could agree on was that the Dallas Mavericks just aren't ready to win a championship. In fact, they have a new logo that illustrates their strength as a basketball team:

Ordination Service

My Ordination Service was last Sunday. It was a nice service with a reception that followed. A fair number of people came out to the service, including some of the youth. And many others who couldn't come made sure I knew they were thinking of me. It was nice to have my parents and Randa's parents in town for the service and for Ainsley's dedication (in the morning worship service). My parents read scripture and prayed for me during the Laying on of Hands. In fact, my dad was the first to pray during that time. In addition to that, the most emotional time was when Randa's parents came through and prayed for me and for Randa. It was nice to have church staff members involved in the service, as well as ministry colleagues and friends. The support and love that Westwood and the community of faith in this area has shown us has been amazing. The service was very meaningful, affirming, and encouraging! Thanks to all who made the service so special!

Here's some pictures from the service:

Tragedy at Virginia Tech

There are no better words to express about what happened at Virginia Tech than these seen all over the Facebook world: Today, we are all Hokies. As people from all over the country and the world share in the grief of this tragedy, may we always be quick to turn toward God. As Lilly Lewin said so well on her April 17 blog post, "we need you to help us understand things that cannot be understood." Amen.

Ordination

Well, it's official: my ordination is set for Sunday, April 22, at 3 PM. My ordination council was this afternoon and those gathered voted to recommend me to the church for ordination. The council was very affirming - just another reason why I appreciate Westwood. My parents and Randa's parents will be coming into town to celebrate this part of my spiritual journey. I'm looking forward to spending time with my family and to celebrating this moment with the church, with family, and with friends.

Lenten Promise Update #6 - Maundy Thursday

I am happy to report that I have been able to keep my Lenten promise of not eating fast food during Lent. It has been strange not stepping inside a McDonald's or Wendy's since Ash Wednesday. I wonder if the manager at my favorite McDonald's has noticed my absence. If so, the next time I am there will give me a great opportunity to share my experiences with others. I have grown spiritually as a result of this experience. I feel like I have slowed down and tried consciously to take in the meaning of Lent. Holy Week has been a great finish to this expereince for me. From Palm Sunday to today, Good Friday, I have felt more aware of the journey Christ took to the cross those many years ago.

Last night, our church had our Maundy Thursday service. It was a beautiful service in the respect that it provided a great opportunity for reflection on Christ and his sacrifice and sufferings. The service was full of scripture, hymns, reflection times, and beautiful imagery and symbolism. We ended the service by taking communion in the light of a single candle representing Christ. After taking the bread and dipping it in the cup and eating it, we took a candle and lit it from the single candle, thus transforming the dark room into one full of light, just as Christ is the Light of the world. After singing a final hymn, we departed in silence. It was a moving and powerful experience.

As we look toward Resurrection Sunday with anticipation, I am always moved by how feeble it is to try to explain and express our understanding of the love of God found in Christ. Mere words are too inadequate to be able to express what we feel. But I am compelled to express my thanks and though I cannot find the words, God hears them anyway.

Lenten Promise Update #5

My Lenten study with the children ended last night as we do not have Church Family Night during Holy Week. We will be making a trip to ECHO on the Wednesday after Easter to present the donations we have collected during Lent as the service project part of our study, but the teaching/reflection station time ended last night. We discussed Jesus' last supper with his disciples. The focus word was 'remember'. We tried to focus on remembering Jesus' sacrifice and specifically the last week of his journey. I think the children have enjoyed this time together (even though they long for recreation time!) and have benefited from doing things that we normally don't do in our program. We have really stretched ourselves in doing this focused study on Lent, especially through the creative activities that have been involved in the learning process. I was hesitant at first about whether this would work, but I have come to realize that children will amaze you if you give them the chance to try different things! I feel blessed to have been able to share this Lenten experience with the children of our church. On a personal note, I have continued to keep my Lenten promise of not eating fast food and I believe I have grown spiritually during this process. (I'm still working on the shrinking physically part!) I look forward to this year's Holy Week with an anticipation I have not had before - an anticipation of remembrance that will be deeper because of the Lenten study and my experiences with the children. Here's a picture of the painting we used last night to help us remember:

Leonardo da Vinci - The Last Supper (1495-1498)

March Madness Mourning

Well, the dream is over! Texas A&M's basketball season is finished as the Aggies lose in the Sweet Sixteen by 1 point to Memphis. In not taking care of the fundamentals (missing a lay-up and giving up 4 offensive rebounds in the last minute), the Aggies find their season coming to a premature end. But it has been a great basketball year for a "football school." Hopefully this is a harbinger of where the basketball program is headed!

I will now turn to rooting for the remaining underdogs of March! Go UNLV, Butler, and Memphis (since no one gives them any respect, I'll call them an underdog)!

Lenten Promise Update #4

I am still on track with keeping my Lenten promise. The children, however, have had some problems. But this is a great learning time for them and for me. We use the times when we share about our promises to encourage one another. It also is a good time to remember God's forgiveness and our ability to start over. It is refreshing to hear children talk about breaking their promises, but then trying again. Openness and honesty is so refreshing! As is the lack of being judgmental! I had what I will refer to as my 'Josh moment' last night. After discussing their promises and how they were doing at keeping them, we moved on to our discussion about prayer. But, one child stopped me and asked how I was doing with my Lenten promise. It was nice to feel like a part of their lives during this journey! I was happy to share what was going on with me! We had a good discussion about prayer, especially about prayer not just involving talking, but also requiring listening. We focused on the discipline of silence. We did an exercise where we focused our bodies and minds on achieving silence. After the exercise, we spent the remaining time at the reflection stations in silence, listening for God's voice speaking to us. It was very interesting and very hard! Silence is a spiritual discipline I want to and need to spend more time exploring.

Reminder Prayer
When I pray I speak to God,
When I listen God speaks to me.
I am now in God’s presence.
God is very near to me.
From The Lion Book of Children’s Prayers, Lion Publishing.

Lenten Promise Update #3

Yesterday marked another week of successfully keeping my Lenten promise. I am finding that my big challenge now is not in being tempted by fast food. It is being hungry all the time. My poor diet kept me full with the terrible combination of high calories and fat. Now, I struggle with feeling hungry all the time. As a result, I have tweaked my response of focusing on Christ's sacrifice when I feel like having fast food to include focusing when I am feeling hungry and unsatisfied with my meals. What better way to fight hunger than to meditate on Jesus. I have newfound appreciation for Jesus' fasting in the wilderness. I also have more of an awareness about how hard it is to focus on sacrifice during Lent. This is definitely proving to be an experience I will cherish and grow from.

Last night in Faith Builders we focused on forgiveness. Forgiveness is so powerful, yet we treat it so flippantly. This becomes more apparent when you are with children. They really do have a way of grasping these deep concepts in simple ways. After discussing forgiveness for awhile, the children overwhelmingly came to the conclusion that forgiveness is not only powerful, but it is powerful because of the way we experience it. They described how they felt when they forgave others and more so, how they felt when they had received forgiveness. That feeling was one of peace - a peace that only can be explained as coming from God. Forgiveness is powerful because it turns things upside down. Punishment turns to freedom, the messiness of sin to a clean slate. Only forgiveness (through God's sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for us - talk about turning things upside down!) bridges that separation from God that sin creates.

We used two prayer exercises to help us with understanding forgiveness. The first was The Prayer of Saint Francis. We meditated on the prayer to discover and experience God's peace. The second was an imaginative prayer exercise. We imagined being on a walk to meet Jesus. Along the way, we are reminded of what we have done wrong and our need for forgiveness. When we finally are face to face with Jesus we pour out our wrongs to him and ask for forgiveness. Jesus forgives us with loving words and then reaches out for us and pick us up and gives us a big, soft hug. Can you imagine a better picture of forgiveness!?!

The Prayer of Saint Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
-Francis of Assisi (1182-1226)

March Madness Is Here!

The NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament is finally here!

Here's my final four picks: Florida, UCLA, Georgetown, and Texas A&M. The Aggies win it all and avenge an early season defeat to UCLA for the title!

Before you call me a shameless homer, this is the first time I have ever picked my team to win it all! (Of course, this is the first time I ever realistically could!) Several basketball experts have picked A&M as a dark horse team to win or picked them outright to win. A&M plays great defense, shoots well from the field, free-throw line, and three-point line, and has the best point guard in the nation. They have good, if not great, post play and they have a good coach. They also have tournament experience. All that should add up to a good showing!

A couple of picks for my friends: Michigan State goes down to Marquette in the first round. North Carolina goes down to Texas in the Sweet Sixteen.

Would the tournament be better with these teams: Drexel, Syracuse, Appalachian State, Akron, Missouri State, Marist, Hofstra, and Air Force instead of these teams: Purdue, Illinois, Michigan State, Stanford, Arkansas, Villanova, Duke, and Georgia Tech? I think so, but we'll never know because the Selection Committee loves to put middle-of-the-pack teams from big conferences in over good teams from lesser conferences. I like Duke, but they are not that good of a team this year. I'd much rather see Drexel get a shot than a middling ACC team that probably wouldn't be in the tournament if their coach wasn't named Mike Krzyzewski (the only plus is that it drives Maryland fans crazy that Duke gets in with an 8-8 conference record and opening round loss in the conference tournament this year, but Maryland didn't last year with an 8-8 conference record and an opening round win in the conference tournament) . Bottom line: I say give deserving teams more chances.

How to fix this mess: First, look at who teams play and where they play. Second, add three more at-large berths and have four play-in games between the bottom eight at-large teams. Third, all conference champions (automatic berths) get seeded instead of fearing having to play in a play-in game. Don't make a team that earned it's way into the tournament by winning a championship play another game to get into the field of 64.


My pick as this year's Champions! Gig 'Em Aggies!

Lenten Promise Update #2

Another week of Lent has passed since Ash Wednesday and I am still keeping my promise to not eat "fast food." Keeping this promise has been interesting lately. My daughter Annie celebrated her 5th birthday at the end of February and my parents were in town for a week to celebrate. Normally we would have gone out to eat at Wendy's or McDonald's for the kids. But this time we celebrated and ate at nicer restaurants. The keeping of the promise has been beneficial in the way it has affected my relationships with my family members. Randa and the girls are proud of what I am doing and have been very supportive. Randa even notes that she is eating less "fast food" because she thinks of me and my promise when she thinks about eating at McDonald's, etc. It has been an interesting time so far. I feel good - almost at peace as I progress with every new day.

I love it when Wednesday nights come and I get to hear how the church children are doing at keeping their promises. Those times together are encouraging. It is especially nice to see the innocence in the eyes of the 1st graders. And we have had great discussions about God and forgiveness. Last night our small group (due to the weather) focused on the story of Jesus going into the wilderness to fast and pray and how he was tempted by the devil during that time. We had a great discussion about temptation and we learned how to deal with it from Jesus' example. So far on Wednesdays, we have learned about making and keeping promises, baptism, and temptation. It has been a special Lenten season thus far.